Oturuyordun, yüzün pek çok iyi görünmüyordu. O sana uzaktan sessizce bakıyordu, tek kelime etmeden seni anladı, sonra sordu, “Neyin var?” Diye. Yok bişey dedin. Yüzünü çevirdin konuyu kapatmak için, ama o kapatamadı. İyi değilsin dedi. Ona hiçbir şey söylemeden baktın. Belli işte dedi. Sonra sen bir gülümsedin “Gerçekten yok bişey, sorduğun için teşekkür ederim.” Dedin. Sormaya devam etmedi, sadece oturup, sana bakıyordu.
Sonra bir gün ortalıklarda yoktun, seni aramaya başladı, bir tek o, senin yokluğunu fark etti. O günde senin tek başına kalmaya çok ihtiyacın vardı. Sonra o senin uzakta oturduğunu ve ağladığını fark etti. Birkaç dakika sonra, portakal suyu ile yanına gelip “Keyfin biraz değişir diye sana yaptım, sevdiğini biliyorum.” Dedi. Bardağa baktın, çok güzeldi, kenarında ince bir portakal parçası vardı. Sonra gözlerin gözyaşlarıyla doluyken bir baktın ona, gülümsüyordu.
Sen tek bir kelime etmeden, teşekkür ederim beni hissettiğin için diye der gibi geldi ona, o da sana bakıp, gülümseyip, rica ederim der gibi dedi sana, sonra gitti. Arkasından bir baktın; hayatında seni o kadar anlayan, seni o kadar hissedden, hiç ısrar etmeyen, tanıştığın ilk kişiydi. İçinde hayır, lütfen gitme, yanımda kalmanı istiyorum diyen birşey vardı. Ama yüksek sesle söyleyemedin, ve yine bu anı yaşarsan eğer, yine söyleyemeyeceksin.
Belki öylesi iyidir, hiçbir şey demeden, hiçbir şey belli etmeden, hiçbir şey açıklamadan ve hiçbir şey anlatmadan, sakince, sessizce, başlamadan bitirmektir.
You were sitting, your face was not looking good. He was looking at you from a distance, without saying any word he understood you, then he asked, “What’s wrong with you?” “Nothing.” You answered. Then you turned your face to close the conversation, but he did not. “You’re not okay!” He said. You looked at him without saying any word. “It’s clear.” He continued. Then you smiled saying, “There’s nothing, really, thank you for asking.” He didn’t insist, he just sat, looking at you all the time.
Then one day, you were not around, he started looking for you, only him, who realized your disappearance. On that day you needed to stay alone. Then he realized you from afar, sitting and crying. Few minutes later, he came to you with an orange juice glass, “I made it for you to change your mood, I know you like it.” You looked at the glass, it was so nice, there was a thin piece of orange on the edge of it. Then with your tears filled eyes you looked at him. He was smiling at you.
You didn’t say any word. It seemed to him like you said thank you for feeling me, and he looked smiling at you like you’re welcome, then he left. You looked behind him; in your entire life he was the first person who understood you, who felt you, who never insisted. Deep inside you there was something saying, no, please don’t go, I want you to stay by my side. But you couldn’t say it out loud, and if you went through this moment again, you won’t say it also.
Maybe it was good like this, without saying anything, without showing anything, without explaining anything and without telling anything, it calmly, quietly, ended without even starting.
“Someone entered your mind… you changed.”
“Someone entered your mind, you changed.”
“There’s someone, their existence makes you forget all people around you”
“If you love
In my opinion go speak then…”
“I can’t imagine your smiling speech..”
“My heart saw your heart and liked it”
“From the first time I met you, I wanted to talk to you at night till 4 AM.”
“As you are in my heart, I’m ready to face everything.”
“Believe me, you’re different than everyone.”
“I turned my back to everyone, but you can hug me.”
“No matter how many years pass, let me hear your voice, see your face, I will fall in love with you like the first time.”
“A very sudden rain,
in empty streets
you and I..”
“You were the one I looked and laughed,
please understand it”
“You’re much beautiful than the Piano you’re sitting in front of”
“For example I want something, putting my hands under my jaw, watching you. For hours, for days, even for years.”
“I’m sitting, eating with the most sexy girl and I’m feeling terrible.
Because five meters away there was Julie. My Julie, was sitting with Edi.
What was she laughing on?
How is it possible to sit there, laugh and be that much beautiful.”
“I love your staying in my mind while everyone is leaving.”
“Would you hug me, if you saw me now at the beginning of the street?”
“You’re here, then all around me is spring now.”
“You, are the most beautiful memory that won’t be old inside me..”
“Don’t be sad my sweetheart
miracles have happened.”
“I want you to know that
those who love with their hearts, cannot forget with their minds.”
“I can’t do anything, I love you.”
“Ohh, hope them can see how much I’m holding on you..”
“I love you so much,
I have no reason.
Just because you.
I love you because you.”
“I can’t promise you with a roses garden, but give me your hand and I’m okay with all the thorns.”
“My soul flows to her like rivers flow to the sea”
“The moon needs the night, and the night is in love with it…”
“You’re everywhere, but inside me the most.”
“She doesn’t have to be with you, she’s too much already in you.”
“The most beautiful feeling in the world…
That a guy with a nice perfume smell comes and sits behind you in a public bus.
I want time to stop at this moment.”
“A person, was enough for another person in anyway.”
“Even if not touched or not seen, some are included in the heart without any reason”
“I need a hug, always your hug, only you”
“Because everything worth loving is actually gathered in you.”
“I love you, don’t forget this.
And love is not enough to meet, also this one.”
“..hug me. Hug me so I count all the days that I cried in till this age as I lived them..”
For seeing my Pinterest board “Tatlı şeysin” means “Cute Thing” that carry these pictures, please visit this Pinterest link
For phantom nights part five, please visit this link Phantom Nights